He said he moved on with someone new but as you moved back to the city his plans fell through. You slipped into your old ways, but it had all changed. You slept on the futon, and he took the bed. And instead of a closet, you lived out of suitcases and boxes because some days he hated you.

It was a sad in-between. His heart was still torn yet he loved you. Because you feared the unknown, you went back down a broken road. Someone who once adored you now treated you like the flavor of the week. This wasn't the man you once knew. Yet you were convinced that he'd choose you.

But his story was never straight, you saw through every lie. Did he forget how long he knew you? Back and forth he went with another man’s wife. It was the same tune—he wanted her to choose him, but her heart was in two. Other days he laughed with you. It was a soap opera no one wanted to be in, yet we all lacked the worth and wisdom to make it right.

You laid down with your Bible each night and prayed for you two. He locked himself in his room with booze and a bad attitude aimed at you. It got so ugly, and it broke you down. What had become of you two? How could a love once so pure turn into a constant give and take? Honey, can't you see, this is not okay... love is not supposed to be this way. All he did was drink, never a drunk but he couldn't stand to be around you.

You’re worth more than you know, and this is not what Jesus wants for you. You left for a reason, and this is not anywhere near better; it's far worse than you have ever seen. Yet you’re believing for better and hoping and praying for a testimony. But this is not how you get there. How can two walk together unless they agree?

He's going to push you again until you break. Once again, you tried all you could do. You can't change him, that's for God to do. You both will have separate journeys. God loves him and wants it too. You don't make this one easy, God will have to pry it from you, but it's what a good Father must do. It gets messy and ugly, but there's beauty in the pain. I'm writing from the other side, so you know it's true. This is all but a chapter better off removed.